Whenever my anxiety is bad late at night I think to myself I should read to clear my head and fall asleep, and yet if I do this I stay up til 2 because I don’t want to put the book down. 🤔

We spent the weekend in nature and I forgot how much I needed that kind of stuff for my soul. It is the main area I practice mindfulness in my life and I have been lacking in that department. Utah is SO hot in the summer. In Wisconsin, I spent the entire summer outside, but with the temps dropping it is more doable. Utah is gorgeous, I am just a wimp when temps are higher.
I am not outdoorsy in the way I want to hike and scale mountains. I am outdoorsy in the way I want to walk slowly through a forest, have a fire, and sit near a creak. I need to take more opportunities to do this.

I am making progress in therapy but in the… not great way. I am making progress meaning I am on the right path, but I am not making progress in regards to my therapist is making me break open all my emotions I have packed carefully away and never wanted to look at. 
I do like my therapist becasue she is one of the first therapists I have had that has called me out for how self-aware I am and instead tells me to stop trying to figure out where the feeling is coming from but feel it. 
Meaning, I have felt a lot more emotional lately. Which is good because I am not packing away my feelings. But it is bad in the way I think every emotion I feel is irrational and I shouldnt be feeling them. So, now I feel like I am doing a lot worse when in actuality all I am doing is sitting in my emotions more. 

Sigh.